To Be Like This
by quiet liban
Summary: Celena Edgecombe didn't run away, and she would have stayed, if only she had known.


**Title:** To Be Like This  
**Author:** quietliban  
**Rating:** M  
**Disclaimer:** The nightworld and concepts contained therein belong to LJ Smith and her associated publishers. No copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** Celena Edgecombe didn't run away, and she would have stayed, if she had only known.

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**  
Prologue**

The shape-shifter heard footsteps behind him from where he sat on the cliff's edge. The ocean beyond was dark in the night; a mass of dark inky blue waves shining and glinting in the moonlight. He knew who it was. It was expected that the half-vampire would come here, just as it was expected that he would be here already.

The footsteps stopped with an involuntary scuff on the fine gravel. The shape-shifter didn't turn around. If the half-vampire wanted to speak, he would listen.

"You could have said something," the half-vampire spoke. His voice was reproachful and soft, but the shape-shifter didn't care. It was too late now, he knew that. That was why he was here, sitting on this cliff, crying these tears.

"If you had've said something-"the half-vampire began as the shape-shifter cut him off.

"She's left, Nick, don't you understand?" the shape-shifter turned to face the half-vampire. His green eyes were red, and swollen from the tears that they had spilled. "She's left. It's over." The shape-shifter sighed. "I'm over."

"Bear," the half-vampire spoke again, "it doesn't have to be like that."

The shape-shifter laughed. It was a hollow bitter laugh and it carried on the wind. "It does, don't you see?" The shape-shifter stood from where he had sat on the cliff edge. "She left."

The half-vampire shook his head helplessly. "You're wrong, Bear. If you had of said something- _anything-_"

The shape-shifter laughed, cutting him off again, contempt echoed in the sound. He turned back to face the water. "I always forget how _well_ you knew Celena."

The half-vampire's expression changed, looking as if the shape-shifter had just pierced his heart with a wooden stake. He took a step forward, and arm reaching out to touch the shape-shifter.

"Come near me, and I'll jump," the shape-shifter spoke curtly, his tone emotionless.

The half-vampire knew that while he may survive the fall, the shape-shifter was unlikely to. Shape-shifters were not immune to gravity, and they did not have the same luxury of self-mending bones.

"That's what you came here to do anyway, isn't Bear?" the half-vampire asked accusatory.

"She doesn't want me. You don't understand, without her, I'm nothing. It's all nothing," the shape-shifter spoke again, his voice soft and mournful. He lifted his head high, and stared out over the horizon.

The half-vampire snorted softly before inching closer, taking care not to scuff on the gravel. The shape-shifter heard him, and turned around, his back to the cliff. He was smiling. It was a bitter crescent of white teeth glinting in the faint moon light. The half-vampire stood still, looking into the green eyes of the shape-shifter.

"You loved her," the half-vampire spoke softly and he dropped his gaze. "You loved her, with all your soul," he whispered.

The shape-shifter nodded. "She was my soulmate- is."

The half-vampire laughed now. It was a bitter laugh, equal to the shape-shifter's laugh in the contempt. "They don't exist."

The shape-shifter gave a small sad smile. He stepped forward and reached out to touch the half-vampire's cheek, his fingers running across the shape-shifter's cheekbone. "But they do," he whispered withdrawing his hand.

The half-vampire grabbed the shape-shifter's hand, holding it tightly, palm-first back against his cheek. He closed his eyes, feeling the shape-shifter's warmth. The half-vampire opened his eyes to find the shape-shifter staring at him with regret in his green eyes. "What am I?" the half-vampire asked, the words becoming choked.

The shape-shifted didn't reply. He stared at the half-vampire, freeing his hand from the half-vampire's face.

"I would do anything for you," the half-vampire told him softly. There was fervour in his voice that chilled the shape-shifter to the bone. "Anything."

"I know," the shape-shifter told him. "That's why you're here. That's why you think things could be different."

"But they can, Bear, I know they can," the half-vampire stepped forward. They were the same height, and the shape-shifter could feel the warm breath of the half-vampire on his lips. The half-vampire leaned in, the side of their hands brushing as he tried to take up the shape-shifter's fingers. "You don't have to do this."

"No. I do. She left." The shape-shifter pushed the half-vampire's hand away. He stepped backwards, and he heard the gravel crunch beneath his feet. He looked up, and saw the sadness, and anger in the half-vampire's eyes.

"I don't want to do this," the half-vampire told him.

"You said you'd do anything," the shape-shifter reminded him.

The half-vampire took another step closer. The shape-shifter knew that if he took another stepped back he would fall. The half-vampire stood less than an arm-length away from him. The shape-shifter looked up at him, and then at the sky behind his shoulder. The stars sparkled in the darkness.

"It didn't have to be like this," the half-vampire told the shape-shifter softly.

The shape-shifter felt the half-vampire's hands on his shoulders, and the push behind them. He fell backwards, and instinct clawed at him to reach for the half-vampire's arms, to reach for something to stop him falling. His hands closed on the half-vampire's elbows, and he pulled forward. The shape-shifter's eyes widened as he continued to fall, and he stared up into the eyes of the half-vampire.

They fell.

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End file.
